his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
