she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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