It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
