Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize