He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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