I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
