Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
