miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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