i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
