this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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