I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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