I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize