hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
