I hate all girls vehemently.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
