Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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