can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
there is glitter all over my balls
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