i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
