Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I would fuck him just for his dog
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