Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
