Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
