It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
