Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
