well you can't waste a boner
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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