So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
