You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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