I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
