you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
