he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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