SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You don't make any sense
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