Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Success! We fucked roommates!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
