I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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