I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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