im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
"it" just moved
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
