can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
