he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
