I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
