what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
