when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
