it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
