The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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