So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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