He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
