hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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