he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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