yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
