That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize