oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
