I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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