for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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