Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
