i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
