now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize