PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i permit you to call me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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