I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
