Three words: puerto rican gang bang
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
