i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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