I wish I could punch you in the face.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
this will be a night to untag.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
