12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
