hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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