You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
