think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
