Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize