this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
