I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
