How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
