you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
