Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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