i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
