Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i dont even know how to be here
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize