He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
