I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
