Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
