another moral hangover. fuck.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
