No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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