i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
